Have you been passed over for a promotion? Did you not get the job you interviewed for and really wanted? Was your loan rejected? How many times have you blamed others when something goes wrong? How many times have you blamed others for your current situation? Is it really the fault of others that you are not where you want to be or didn’t get want you wanted?
It is easy to place blame. That is why we do it. When you place blame on something or someone other than ourselves we are taking the responsibility away from ourselves and placing it on something that we believe is “outside our control”. When something is outside our control then we don’t have to take responsibility for it, and therefore don’t have to ask “what did I do wrong?”. But the fact is most things that happen to us are in our control, even the fact that we are allowing outside forces to control our outcomes. The act of blaming is actively passing on the control of your outcome on something or someone else. If you continue to do this, placing blame on others, you will never live the life that you were meant to live.
If you want to start living the life you want, working in the field you want, buying the house you want, etc. you have to start by understanding that you are in control of what happens to you. You are the one who needs to take responsibility for your actions and know that your actions and thoughts will take you where you want to go. If you have negative thoughts and negative actions then negative things will come to you. If you have positive thoughts and place yourself in situations where you but yourself out there, then positive things will come your way.
It is also easy to place blame on everything but ourselves because if we begin to understand that we have the power to control our own story, we also have to take responsibility for life’s failures. It is hard to recognize that when things don’t go our way, that we are the one’s responsible for that. We have to admit that we made a mistake, that we were not prepared, or that we did not place ourselves in a position for success.
The first step to achieving what you want out of life is to take responsibility for your thoughts, actions, and decisions. The second step is taking responsibility for not only the successes but the failures of those thoughts, actions, and decisions. The third step is using the failures you encounter, not as blaming yourself for being a failure, but as lessons to learn from so when you face this challenge or situation again, you will be prepared. And the fourth step is to reflect inward and ask yourself what you can do to be better and place yourself in a position where you can shine.
Blame does nothing but look in the past and hold you hostage. Act in the present and look to the future. Start taking responsibility for who you are, where you are, and where you want to go. You have the power to make the life you want and deserve, but with that power comes great responsibility. Accept that responsibility and use your power to create the life you want.